{"id":13254,"date":"2018-12-18T07:43:06","date_gmt":"2018-12-18T15:43:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heuermontage.com\/?p=13254"},"modified":"2018-12-18T07:43:13","modified_gmt":"2018-12-18T15:43:13","slug":"kvetching","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heuermontage.com\/?p=13254","title":{"rendered":"Kvetching"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The yiddish word to kvetch <\/em>refers to whining or complaining. A fun book by Michael Wex gives a good introduction: Born to Kvetch<\/em>: Yiddish Language and Culture in All Its Moods. It contains nuggets like this: “Judaism is defined by exile, and exile without complaint is tourism.”  If you don’t trust me, read this review….  https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2005\/09\/28\/books\/to-provoke-in-yiddish-try-how-are-you.html <\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So let me kvetch today: What is a woman to do when her art did not make it into an exhibit she had put high hopes on? Particularly when said exhibit was juried by someone whose curatorial eye she greatly respects? And concerned a theme, environmental threat from climate change, that is a \u00a0focus of her work?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why, eat a bag of Fritos and go for a long walk. Preferably simultaneously, although my camera is starting to complain about all the crumbs. Alas, the conversations in my head prohibited an escape from the emotional sting…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“Why not join the flock of sheep,” say the sheep. “Just fit in.” “I’m not a sheep,” say I,”I’ve always done my own thing. And besides who wants to have starlings on your back, stealing your persimmons treat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“Why not join the gaggle of geese,” say the geese. “Just get in line.” “I’m not a goose,” say I, “goose-stepping not desired.” Besides, why walk across the road when you can fly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“Why not try it straight up,” whispers the landscape, “your work is so obtuse.” “I’m not a photographer per se,” I whine,” I do montages. No matter how many straight lines I put in, the images are complicated.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"


<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“You’re just a speck in the landscape” hollers the eagle, “just like I.” “Which is my point, say I, ” a tiny speck in a sea of artists. But is that so because of the numerical odds, or because the quality of my work is just not up to par?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Baldie on left hand side in the water

<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Imaginary exchanges aside, what is the psychological basis for such self doubt? In my professional and academic life, I never suffered from impostor syndrome, the belief of successful, high achievement people that they are in fact frauds who have managed to dupe their way to the top. (It used to be thought of as a female problem, which more recent research shows to be false. Men experience that syndrome too, and are hit harder by its negative consequences for performance, as it turns out.) The link below is to the classic Clance and Imes paper that paved the way, still quite informative.)\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

http:\/\/www.paulineroseclance.com\/pdf\/ip_high_achieving_women.pdf<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But I face a different scenario: rather than doubting the roots for existing achievement, there is doubt regarding the possibility of achievement in a new domaine. Doubt despite the fact, as kind friends point out, that recognition has already happened in the few years that I have been at it, expressed through numerous solo shows and feedback from artists I admire, who do not know me personally. Doubt that reminds me of the days as a professor when you had the entire class give you the highest points on evaluations and one single student dissed you in most aggressive ways. All that stuck, for days, was that negative comment; just like last week’s rejection for the exhibition blotted out the shows I was admitted to this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So much about art is amorphous, contextually charged, subject to ever changing tastes, rooted in familiar processes (of which mine deviate), Zeitgeist-dependent. Knowing all that why still the attribution to a potential failure of my personal ability? \u00a0You tell me. I need to get back to making more montages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Photographs today were taken on Sauvie Island last Thursday. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The yiddish word to kvetch refers to whining or complaining. A fun book by Michael Wex gives a good introduction: Born to Kvetch: Yiddish Language and Culture in All Its Moods. 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